Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize