The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
