that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i now understand why vodka
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
