I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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