I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
