No more Irish car bombs ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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