OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
