Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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