In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize