who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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