I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize