I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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