I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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