All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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