I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
