My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
