how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
