does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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