she smelled like a LAN party
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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