yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
