seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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