But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
