I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
