dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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