I will die if light touches me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
