I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
