They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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