Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
