My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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