im drinking this country out of the recession.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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