If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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