he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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