They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
love makes seman taste better
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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