Whod you bang
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
