I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
do herpes really smell.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
