Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
