just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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