"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
