I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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