watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
