what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
