She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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