it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
