Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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