you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Redeem this text for a blowjob
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize