My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
