I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
