No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
