I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
