you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
