How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
