P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
