Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
