you guys were way drunker than both of me
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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