you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
