I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Damn victory sex feels great
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
