Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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