I love having hate sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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