Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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