i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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