a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
