Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
