I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
